Lately I feel as though I'm not quite with it. I feel very anti-social. I am function wonderfully at work, doing a great job and acting like a normal person, but the instant that I am not at work it is almost like I'm confused about what to do. I just cannot seem to pick up the phone and call a friend and say, "hey, wanna do something?". If someone would call me I would go for sure but I can't call myself. I can't even seem to email friends from far away and ask them how they are. I really want to do it, I miss all of my friends, but even now, just sitting here, I can't motivate myself to do it.
I don't believe that this is a normal thing. Is this a physcological problem? Have I been hurt by friends and am afraid of rejection or judgement? These are questions that I ask myself but I just don't know the answer to.
Even with Ian, I feel like he doesn't want me around or that he is not attracted to me. I know that he is, he tells me all the time that is, but I feel as though he doesn't.
Perhaps this is just a self-esteem issue that I should deal with. I don't know. All I know is that I'm praying for change, 'cause this anti-socialism has GOT TO GO!!!!
KG
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3 comments:
yeah, I've been missing you......
love Elizabeth and Hunter (and Justin, who is out tutoring right now)
P.S. Wanna play some Beaner????
I can understand. I used to work at a job where we had to talk to people all day (blood donor clinic). When I got home I just wanted to veg. It does take an effort. It just takes a phone call to a friend to say "hey meet for a coffee...."
mini mom
Oh my little sweetie! I know how you feel. You've been busy and dealing with alot of stuff and changes. You'll get over it in time. Wanna do coffee? Love your mom, Fran
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